Sheppey 2 Croydon 3

So what do I know about Croydon ? Well a few famous people have lived there, David Bowie, Ronnie Corbett, the Great Dane Bowers, Woy Hodgson, bonkers artist Tracy Emin, Kirsty Macoll and popular beat Grime artist Stormzy. I used to see a girl who lived near there until she had a restraining order put on me and I’ve worked at Croydon East train station, which is massive. With this in mind I was clearly excited about Saturday’s game, plus the fact that I’d willingly agreed to have a go at dry January meant the day should be interesting. Well it was.
My quip last week about Trey waltzing out the door never to be seen again seemed rather unprophetic as there he was turning out for Croydon against us, as his self appointed agent I felt a little let down I wasn’t party to any negotiations but that’s football I guess.
Talking of which, Sheppey amazingly kept the same starting eleven from last week, a feat worthy of the three points alone you’d think, Croydon clearly didn’t.
The game kicked off just about the same time I ended my gallant attempt at dry January, Croydon decked in what looked like a Coventry kit had a centre forward the spitting image of Peter Ndlovu (google him kids), a great player who left Coventry a week before Terry Phelan left, prompting the song ” you’ve lost Ndlovu and Phelan, woah Ndlovu and Phelan” ( another Google kids). Anyway, Ndlovu and his forward mate both looked very decent up front, ironically the other Croydon had two great forwards, makes me wonder if they just swap attackers similar to Fred and Rose West. Both were proving as elusive as my willpower early on, making diagonal runs and at times the home defence were finding them harder to pick up than the Chairmans wallet, the young midfielder supplying the ammunition early on should have given the defence an early warning, well if it did no one took any notice as the young lad, fresh from his paper round found Ndlovu 25 yards out, the defence gave him more room than Abu Hamza at pass the parcel let fly with a shot that found the bottom corner 1-0. By this time Sheppey weren’t in the game and looked as potent as Pele after a couple of beers so it was no surprise when Croydon doubled their lead. This time a crisp move led to the other forward with enough time and space to slot the ball home with a finish Cynthia Payne would be proud of 2-0.
Finally Sheppey turned up to the party, a couple of tackles won, Bradshaw playing wide right started getting the ball and asking questions, our first chance fell to the Colonel who somehow found himself with only the keeper to beat, he didn’t. Remmell and LHO started to look threatening and the midfield, again missing Burke and Hare the comedy villains started to get a foothold. First Remmel flashed a chance wide, then the Shrewsbury shifter got behind the defence but drew a decent save, the pressure was mounting like a dog on heat, then Girt sends Clark away down the left, he delivers a superb cross that Bradshaw, who overtook Usain Bolt to get in the box and met the ball on the half volley giving the keeper less chance than Diane Abbott on countdown 1-2. As I’d earlier predicted to the other weirdo’s in the paddock at 2-0 down, there’s no better feeling than winning 3-2 after trailing, I know my stuff. The Visiting keeper who had looked more indecisive than a fat kid in Greggs then played his part, a cross came in, the keeper went for it, had a little juggle, dropped it at the colonels feet and for the second time he couldn’t miss, he didn’t 2-2. Sheppey now had their tails up, pushing on restricting the visitors chances and went in for their half time ovaltine level pegging.
The second half started, me again telling anyone that would listen ” we are a second half team”
Then out of the blue, the rock solid Jack Mahoney played a back pass that wrong footed the Colonel, Ndlovu’s mate pounced on it and beat the keeper with a low shot, 3-2, what a kick in the proverbials. Still plenty of time on the clock, the 274 crowd found its voices urging the team forward, a few half chances came and went, Croydon still looked dangerous on the break, a free kick from a fair way out was curled round the wall into the side netting, Sheppey were now going Gung Ho for the equaliser, Girt fizzed a long range effort wide, Hiccham went close. Time for a sub, on comes Timmy for LHO, I’d also predicted Timmy would score today, a few corners, one of which Ralphy got on the end of but suddenly their keeper looked like he knew what he was doing saved well, in a last ditch attempt, Easy E brings on young Coops for Mahoney and Froggatt for Brunt, the latter taking over step over duties from Trey but it was all to no avail, 3-2 to Croydon.
Summary.
Another disappointing result, didn’t start playing until 2-0, however some decent football got them back in the game. Technically we are as good as anybody in this league and realistically with games in hand could still be pushing the top 6 but as I’ve said before when things aren’t going right we haven’t really got anyone to do the dirty work, a few crunching tackles to give the opponents something to remember, the dark arts. I’m lead to believe Ronnie and Reggie Batten are available next week , hopefully their absence will have made them hungrier and angrier than before. Glebe next week, it’ll be nice to see a few new faces at away games, give the boys some encouragement and get the revolution back on track.
M.O.M
Dan Bradshaw, started wide right but presses all over the pitch, he’s fitter than Jennifer Aniston, and his sheer work rate and will to win got us back in this game.